That's how it goes

Now I'm wandering all around, I feel like I'm floating in a fluffy cloud. I see everything but not like you... Even though you see it all too, the glasses we look through are two very different hues. I see orange and you see blue. The funny thing is, I respond the same way you do. Because no matter what color, poo is still poo. So this is what I conclude: Don't look with your eyes for they will lie. To see life even in the dark, do a simple thing, open up your heart. And with that spark, a feirce fire you will create - One that won't just glow but illuminate and intrigue your soul. From me to you this love will flow. What we can't see now, we will be shown and all the answers will be known.

Damn audio blogger!!!

Well, I've been trying to leave an audio blog for the past couple of weeks now but for some reason I can't get through.

I dunno if they just don't offer the service anymore or what but I'm gonna try a few more times over the next week or so...

But anyway, the trip to NY was awesome! We went to the Statue of Liberty and it was amazing!!!

Montauk was amazing too. The weather was wonderful and the beaches were beautiful!

I have lots to talk about but I really wanna audio blog it but if I can't then I will write more soon.

Love you all!!!

-M

Almost time to go...

Till the break-a dawn.

Listen to me...

Video Killed the Radio Star!

WOO HOO!

We got video...

Yaaaay!!! These I'll switch up every so often too, so check back to see which music vid I'll play next...

Hope you guys love it!

~M

A Sweet Tune...

Soo... I've learned how to do something really cool!

As you can probably hear, that something is how to play a MP3 on here.

Cool huh? It's only a 30 sec. loop, so if it's too much for you (or too little), you can always click stop on the player.

I'll be switching the songs up frequently so hopefully you won't get too sick of any one looped sample.

Eventually I'm gonna learn how to add artist info to the player for those of you who may be interested that type o' thang.

Well... happy groovin and let me know what ya think!

Everything Matters

Just a Matter of Time, Paul Kos, 1990

Fifteen cuckoo clocks, hammers, and sickles, 84 x 144 x 8 in.

Collection of the Oakland Museum of California (The clocks represent the republics under Soviet domination during the Cold War.)

But a Dream?

Could someone or something switch us off?

Could it possibly be true that our world is just a computer program, or a hologram, or a dream?

Although it's about the weirdest thing you could think of, there are some tantalizing clues this might indeed be the case.

The stuff we call 'reality' simply isn’t very real after all.

It may look real, and feel real, and smell real. But if you know where to look, and you look real close, you can see the cracks... Just like kid on a movie set that suddenly realizes he's not surrounded by real buildings -- but by props made of cardboard paper.

If that sounds like lame science fiction; I agree. Indeed, we’ve all seen The Matrix. But could such a thing be conceivable? Could it be true? Are we really here? Or are we, as one reader of Exit Mundi suggested, only a computer simulation, run by an alien race?

Are you just a walking piece of matter that’s pretending to be someone? In reality, things like matter, or self, or the Universe, or time, or dimensions are all illusions. Everything we see and everything we feel are, in fact, the manifestations of some underlying reality.

That leaves you with an unsettling question: what exactly is that reality?
The truth is: we don’t know. Could be almost anything, really. A dream, even. Or a simulation. Or a kind of computer game, an advanced kind of Civilization or Sims. There’s no way of knowing if there’s someone or something pushing the buttons. There’s no way of knowing if there isn’t, either.

And then, there’s this other thing most theorists agree on: our reality could suddenly end. Our universe could fold up. The dimensions we live in could be wrapped up. The very fabric of our physical world could be disrupted by some unprecedented, weird physical event. From one second to the other, our reality would no longer be there. Sounds like fun, right?

But then again, why bother? For that’s the deeper consequence of these things. If there is no such thing as a place we call Earth, we needn’t really worry about its end. Would the characters of a Sims-game feel sad or disappointed when you turned off the computer? Or would the people you dream of at night mind if you wake up? You guessed it: they probably wouldn't.

What isn’t really there, doesn’t really end.

Page From My Journal

I Wrote this, Oct 6th 2002

Even though sickness
And sadness is all around
Your glowing love
is still abound.

Through the drakness
I see light
And after the madness
It will be right.

Some fears
We can not escape
But that's how
You and I relate.

You think it's gone
But it's still here,
It had no reason
To go anywhere.

The confusion came
When it changed,
We didn't know
It was time to grow.

So, "It Left."
Is what we thought.
We were sad
Because it was gone.
Now we laugh
Because we were wrong.

Relearnigng how to see
has always been my theme.
Good thing it can always
Recognize me.

So where do we go from here?
Back to the fears
That had us so scared

To do some research,
Analyze and compare.
To grow and learn
About ourselves.

This masterpeice
Will come together.
I'm determined.
I will not give up.

Thank you, thank you
My beautiful love.

To Know Me...

I've been thinking a lot lately about my home town and the other places I've lived.

It's like sometimes when I think about my whole life up until the past few years, I get this weird, lonely and kinda empty feeling. Like I miss that whole part of my life that doesn't exist anymore so much that it makes me sad inside to be so far away from who I used to be. Like I'm terrified of getting to know this new person I am today.

Sometimes I just sit and try to remember as many memories as vividly as I can. The exact smell and color and feeling of a moment, like sitting on our plush red carpet in our den when I was three or walking home from school high school with my girl friends or standing on the roof of my building after my 21st birthday party or the first time I ever walked into a strip club.

My life has been so enriched with liveliness, fun, freedom, confidence and exploration but there were also more than a handful of times filled with yuckiness and nastiness, anger and fear. But even those moments I want to taste again, I want to taste tham all - Because that is my core and my essence.

I've known the truest loves, the deepest pains, major losses and major gains. Some fantasies were born into realities and some are still perfectly residing within me as dreams. I made just enough mistakes and bad decisions to for my life to be wild, spontanious, and slightly dangerous and to balance out the times I went above and beyond doing the right thing.

The journey I take myself on more and more often trying to recapture a sense of me - my past, to learn a little something about me - my present, and hopefully to become the best me - my future, is now my favourite new stimulant.

My latest motto is, "To know me is to love me." So that's exactly what I'm trying to do.

Change&Want

"You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete." -Anonymous

"One has to wait without impatience for what should come, and yet at the same time do everything within one's power as though one were impatient and as though one were solely responsible." -Rodney Collin

Magical Hands... Where are you?

No Motivation...

As you know, I've been working on my new scheme and theme and all that jazz but I've hit a plateau. I've actually hit a motivaton/inspiration plateau with a lot of things in my life altogether...

Things are actually pretty good in my life right now which kinda sucks because it seems that when all is going right I have zero and I mean ZERO sense of creativity. I don't need an outlet for my rage or frustration or pent up emotions at the moment.

So the template will stay the same for now and I'm going to try really hard to think of interesting things to post. Maybe it's time I try getting a little more personal. I don't know.

All I do know is that I'm slightly manic/depressed which means I only come up with good stuff at the peak of being manic (which is the best!) or the lowest depths of being depressed but when I'm nice and even, nothing. And these days it seems I'm nice and even more than anything else which is a good thing... I guess. Well anyway, here's what's playing in my head:

Basket Case

Do you have the time
to listen to me whine
About NOTHING and EVERYTHING
all at once

I am one of those
Melodramatic fools
Neurotic to the bone
No doubt about it

Sometimes I give myself the CREEPS
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me

It all keeps adding up
I think I'm CRACKING UP
Am I just PARANOID?
Or am I just STONED

I went to a shrink
To analyze my dreams
SHE says it's lack of sex
that's bringing me down
I went to a whore
SHE said my life's a bore
So quit my whining cause
it's bringing HER down

Sometimes I give myself the CREEPS
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me

It all keeps adding up
I think I'm CRACKING UP
Am I just PARANOID?
Uh,yuh,yuh,ya

Grasping to CONTROL
So I BETTER hold on

Sometimes I give myself the CREEPS
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me

It all keeps adding up
I think I'm CRACKING UP
Am I just PARANOID?
Or am I just STONED

(someday I'm gonna learn how to post mp3's)

Template in Progress

UPDATE!!!
I've been working oh so very, very hard on my new template...
None of the new stuff will be revealed until I'm a lot closer to finished though.
Hopefully, it will be worth the wait... Hopefully, I can manage to post something in the mean time as well.
Thanks for all your patience and support!

Cock-a-doodle-doo

Click above for Feng Shui influences...



YAY for 2005, Year of the Rooster!!!





Painting by Li Ming

You are a Rooster if you were born in: 1921, 1933, 1945, 1957, 1969, 1981, 1993, or 2005

The Rooster is the strutting peacock of the Chinese Zodiac! These quick thinkers are practical and resourceful, preferring to stick to what is tried and true rather than taking messy, unnecessary risks. Roosters are keenly observant. It's hard to slip anything past a Rooster, since they seem to have eyes in the backs of their heads! This quality can lead others to think the Rooster is psychic, but that's not generally the case; instead, this Sign enjoys a keen attention to detail that makes it a whiz at anything requiring close analysis. Roosters make great lawyers, brain surgeons and accountants, to name a few of this Sign's possible occupations. Above all else, the Rooster is very straightforward and rewards others' honesty in kind.

Roosters aren't shifty or cagey and have no interest in hiding behind a facade. They are the proverbial open book, telling the truth and keeping their word. If you show your hand, the Rooster will respect you for it. This kind of trusting behavior can tempt tricksters to pull a fast one on the Rooster, but that would be a bad move! Remember, this Sign doesn't indulge in flights of fancy and keeps those eyes wide open at all times.

Roosters tend to be perfectionists and expect to be in control, especially over their appearance. Primping and posing for the Rooster can go on forever! Being noticed and admired is an aphrodisiac for Roosters, and they can go a long time on a few kind words. Roosters also adore being out on the town, especially if they're in the company of adoring friends. The Rooster will also be the best-dressed one of the bunch -- style counts with this Sign, regardless of the cost.

Roosters also expect to be in control of their surroundings, including whoever happens to be in those surroundings. Roosters keep an impeccably neat house and expect their lovers, housemates and family members to maintain the same high standards of dress and conduct as they do. This can cause problems with other, more relaxed types who just want to be accepted as is. The Rooster needs the right partner, one who understands this Sign's basically conservative nature. With the right person, the Rooster can be the most loyal, trusting and supportive mate around, one who bends over backward to please its loved ones. Some Signs may just end up feeling hen-pecked, however.

Roosters need to learn to value their heart and soul as much as their good looks. Their excellent people skills and sharp minds are qualities that others will appreciate as much as a pretty face. This Sign would also do well to learn to adopt the philosophy of "live and let live"; perhaps an appeal to the Rooster's logic -- that it's inefficient to waste time nagging others -- will help this Sign learn to let others be whomever and however they are.

Our Shortest Day

The precise moment of the 2004 Winter Solstice in my hemisphere was December 21 at 4:42 a.m. Pacific Time.

In so many ways it has been a very meaningful day for me... But here's what it has meant to so many others:

The Roman midwinter holiday, Saturnalia, was both a gigantic fair and a festival of the home. Riotous merry-making took place, and the halls of houses were decked with boughs of laurel and evergreen trees. Lamps were kept burning to ward off the spirits of darkness. Schools were closed, the army rested, and no criminals were executed. Friends visited one another, bringing good-luck gifts of fruit, cakes, candles, dolls, jewelry, and incense. Temples were decorated with evergreens symbolizing life's continuity, and processions of people with masked or blackened faces and fantastic hats danced through the streets.

Roman masters feasted with slaves, who were given the freedom to do and say what they liked (the medieval custom of all the inhabitants of the manor, including servants and lords alike, sitting down together for a great Christmas feast, came from this tradition). A Mock King was appointed to take charge of the revels (the Lord of Misrule of medieval Christmas festivities had his origin here).

In pagan Scandinavia the winter festival was the yule (or juul). Great yule logs were burned, and people drank mead around the bonfires listening to minstrel-poets singing ancient legends. It was believed that the yule log had the magical effect of helping the sun to shine more brightly.

Mistletoe, which was sacred because it mysteriously grew on the most sacred tree, the oak, was ceremoniously cut and a spray given to each family, to be hung in the doorways as good luck.

The Celtic Druids also regarded mistletoe as sacred. Druid priests cut it from the tree on which it grew with a golden sickle and handed it to the people, calling it All-Heal. To hang it over a doorway or in a room was to offer goodwill to visitors. Kissing under the mistletoe was a pledge of friendship. Mistletoe is still forbidden in most Christian churches because of its Pagan associations, but it has continued to have a special place in home celebrations.

In the third century various dates, from December to April, were celebrated by Christians as Christmas. January 6 was the most favoured day because it was thought to be Jesus' baptismal day (in the Greek Orthodox Church this continues to be the day to celebrate Christmas). Around 350, December 25 was adopted in Rome and gradually almost the entire Christian Church agreed to that date, which coincided with Winter Solstice, the Yule and the Saturnalia. The merry side of Saturnalia was adopted to the observance of Christmas. By 1100 Christmas was the peak celebration of the year for all of Europe. During the 16th century, under the influence of the Reformation, many of the old customs were suppressed and the Church forbade processions, colourful ceremonies, and plays.

In 1647 in England, Parliament passed a law abolishing Christmas altogether. When Charles II came to the throne, many of the customs were revived, but the feasting and merrymaking were now more worldly than religious.

In short, the shortest day has always been a time for celebration. Britons called it Alban Arthuan because they believed, King Arthur was born on this day. The Romans then changed the name of the festival to Saturnalia in honour of the god (and planet) Saturn. Later, when the Romans imposed Christianity on the land, they declared that Saturnalia should also be considered the birthday of Jesus. Whatever you care to call the big midwinter feast... and whatever it means to you, it has now officially begun!

...All of this reminded me that the day before this years Winter Solstice, Mercury has also completed it's latest retrograde cycle, YAY!!!

I have a hunch that many great things are before us in 2005...

Season's Greetings and Happy Holidays!!!

Micha Swings

Before I tweaked the color, you could tell that every person in the picture is me.
Click on it to see it full size!

It had been quite a long time since I had been on a swing until I shot the series of photos that now make the one above...

As a child and even still today my favorite thing on the playground is definitely the swings.

My hair flying into my face as I swoop backward and then it trailing behind me as I soar forward...

The feeling of freedom raging through my uninhibited body as I pump my legs to go higher and higher and higher still... Sweaty palms gripping the chains tightly as I reach an altitude that gets my adrenaline fully charged.

I quickly rise above the person next to me and just as quickly come closer and closer to the ground before I go right back up to dominating heights.

Once I reach the point where I know I can go no higher, I pull the chains tight with elbows out at fourtyfive degrees, I lean back, point my toes and as my aggressive momentum thrusts me forward, I let go at the peak of my ascent so that I may fall freely from my superior plane... It's only a split second before my heels dig into the sand and I have landed.

Fantasy by Way of Reality

Somedays all you can do is wish for that moment...

Somedays the closest you'll ever get is wishing, and if your lucky, even dreaming...

Somedays when you're around him your palms get sweaty, your stomach gets queasy, and you suddenly become lovely. You smile a lot and giggle; you fidget but you're poised - You relax just the slightest and release a great sigh.

Somedays you're that girl, you have what it takes and know how to use it.

Somedays his energy evokes non-stop chatter while otherdays his presence compels you to quietly twirl your hair, bite your lip, and point your toes.

Somedays he takes your breath away.

Somedays you close your eyes and imagine his fingertips making their way all across your body.

Somedays you consider any sacrifice for the slimmest odds that he'd stop being merely your favorite fantasy and invite you into his reality.

Somedays thoughts of his endless, deep gaze make your heart ache.

Somedays all you crave is just a kiss by him because somedays you think that's all you need to know that he surely is the one.

Somedays you realize that it could never be - He is yours only in your dreams.

Somedays you get scared that if you do someday feel his touch across your bare skin, his lips against yours, his breath in your ear, that it won't be him. He might feel cold, void of the fire you thought you shared.

Somedays your Magic 8 Ball tells you exactly what you want to hear but you have come to terms with the truth.

Mostdays he belongs to either everyone else or just only himself. You can never truly have him. You are off limits, he knows that much - He's scared to see what happens if he presses his luck.

This was partially inspired by some quotes from my favorite love sick girl, Angela Chase.

>> Angela: It's so weird when you see someone you just dreamed about... Like it's gonna show.

>> Angela: It's such a lie that you should do what's in your heart. If we all did what was in our heart, the world would grind to a halt.

>> Angela: Love...is when you look into someone's eyes, and suddenly, you go all the way inside...to their soul...and you both know, instantly.

As A Man Thinketh

Visions and Ideals

by James Allen

The dreamers are the saviors of the world. As the visible world is sustained by the invisible, so men, through all their trials and sins and sordid vocations, are nourished by the beautiful visions of their solitary dreamers. Humanity cannot forget its dreamers. It cannot let their ideals fade and die. It lives in them. It knows them in the realities which it shall one day see and know.

Composer, sculptor, painter, poet, prophet, sage, these are the makers of the afterworld, the architects of heaven. The world is beautiful because they have lived; without them, laboring humanity would perish.

He who cherishes a beautiful vision, a lofty ideal in his heart, will one day realize it. Columbus cherished a vision of another world, and he discovered it. Copernicus fostered the vision of a multiplicity of worlds and a wider universe, and he revealed it. Buddha beheld the vision of a spiritual world of stainless beauty and perfect peace, and he entered into it.

Cherish your visions. Cherish your ideals. Cherish the music that stirs in your heart, the beauty that forms in your mind, the loveliness that drapes your purest thoughts, for out of them will grow all delightful conditions, all heavenly environment; of these, if you but remain true to them, your world will at last be built.

To desire is to obtain; to aspire is to achieve. Shall man's basest desires receive the fullest measure of gratification, and his purest aspirations starve for lack of sustenance? Such is not the Law. Such a condition of things can never obtain - "Ask and receive."

Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become. Your Vision is the promise of what you shall one day be. Your Ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil.

The greatest achievement was at first and for a time a dream. The oak sleeps in the acorn; the bird waits in the egg; and in the highest vision of the soul a waking angel stirs. Dreams are the seedlings of realities.

In all human affairs there are efforts, and there are results, and the strength of the effort is the measure of the result. Chance is not. "Gifts," powers, material, intellectual, and spiritual possessions are the fruits of effort. They are thoughts completed, objects accomplished, visions realized.

The vision that you glorify in your mind, the Ideal that you enthrone in your heart - this you will build your life by, this you will become.

Recap of recent Lunar event

According to folklore, October's full moon is called the "Hunter's Moon" or sometimes the "Blood Moon."

It gets its name from hunters who tracked and killed their prey by autumn moonlight, stockpiling food for the winter ahead. You can picture them: silent figures padding through the forest, the moon overhead, pale as a corpse, its cold light betraying the creatures of the wood.

The Blood Moon rose this year on Wednesday, Oct. 27th. At first it seemed pale and cold, as usual. And then ... blood red.

He was The Perfect Drug

I was in Union Square Park in San Francisco about five days before my twenty-first birthday. I loved that spot. That's where all the skate rats would hang out, smoke weed, sketch, write, and drive the cops crazy... Do whatever seemed punk rock and expressive at that given moment. It was the jump-off point of any adventure or scheme that we could think up on a particular day... That's where I felt like I belonged, even though I did at times feel a little like a poseur. I never knew how to skate but I sure did know how to do everything else required to chill in that spot.

That day I just finished wrapping up all my birthday party plans. I was so excited about the whole thing because it was the first time I was going to have a huge, huge rock star party in my honour. So, I was telling all the rats about it and to be there, when a guy who I'd seen but never met before spoke up... He said that he knew how to breathe fire and that no private party at the Red Devil Lounge would be complete with out fire. I totally agreed. I also told him about a local band I was going to see that night and that he should meet up with me. He said maybe.

Well, my old roomie and I got to the venue where our friends band was playing and wadda ya know? My fake ID didn't work. Five days before I turn twenty-one and I couldn't get in. Ugh. Sooo shitty! My roomie really wanted to go in and check them out for at least a sec so he did while I waited in the car.

All dressed up, looking super hot and nowhere to go... I was alone in the car for less than five minutes when I saw the mysterious fire breathing guy from that afternoon walk by. He had just left the show. I rolled down the window to yell at him but before I could get a word out he was already asking me if I wanted to smoke some pot with him. Duh. He got in the back seat and I stayed in the front. We smoked so much bud that we couldn't even see out the windows. Before he left I reminded him one more time about my party. He said he'd be there for sure.

My birthday party came and went... And no Fire. I wasn't super disappointed - Hell, I couldn't even remember the guys name. But I could remember his face, voice, and well, him.

Two months later I was at the Warped Tour wandering through the crowds gathered in front of various stages. I overheard someone say Jurassic 5 was about to go on the main stage so I rushed over. I couldn't see very well so I tapped the guy in front of me, it was Mysterious Fire Breathing Man. He was even more gorgeous that day than the day we first met. We started talking and it seemed like there was never a time that we didn't know each other.

Before I knew it I was up on his shoulders having the best view of a great show. After about halfway through the next act (Papa Roach), I told him I had to get to work. He said the same - We decided to share a cab. We left holding hands like we'd been together for years already. As soon as we were outside the gates he kissed me. Then I kissed him. We couldn't stop kissing... We crossed the street to a good spot for hailing cabs, and we started kissing again... In between all the kissing we were gazing into each other's eyes and proclaiming how fate must have brought us together for a reason.

That same night right before I got off work I saw my new love's face poking his head through the door. I went over, snuck a kiss, and he asked me to hang out with him later so that I could meet his friends and favorite people. I accepted with elation in my voice.

As soon I stepped out of the building there he was with the biggest smile on his face waiting for me. We took a walk to Washington Square Park where his pals were waiting for us... It was one of the best nights of my life! He and I were doing cartwheels and rolling around in the grass, I can't say I've EVER been in love like that before.

Each day was the same, when we were together it was like we were high. So high, that we didn't want to be apart. We made each other feel so euphoric emotionally AND physically just by sitting near each other that we became each other's newest addiction. Our addictions became so serious that we didn't want to leave our bed to get up and go to work. (Another Libra had sucked me in...) We'd smoke cigarettes, smoke pot, eat, fuck, record songs on his four track, do pretty much everything in the bed for about two to three days at a time. Then we'd pull ourselves together, and decide to face the world for a few hours. Between the two of us we'd get just enough money to pay for the necessities: junk food, weed, rehearsal space, cigarettes, booze and rent. Every now and then we'd come up with some extra cash so that he could get some new skate shoes or guitar strings or so that I could get a new stripper outfit or body spray.

To us, we were living the rock star lifestyle. To us it was fabulous. We both loved music so we made it a much as possible, we both hated working so we did that as little as possible.

With him, I had some of the most incredible times of my life. It wasn't long before we knew each other inside and out. There was only one thing that I didn't know, which was the real reason why we went through our hard hustled cash so fast each day...

The recovered addict hadn't recovered. See, he was a good junky - The best I've ever known but he HAD to be good because everyone who knew and loved him were all just as (or even more) familiar than I was with not only the slick ways of an addict but his slick ways.

Never before, in my life, did I ever believe that the kind of intoxicating true love I had always searched for could actually exist, until I met him...

Never before did everything I ever believed about true love crumble into a cold and lifeless pile of irreversible and irrevocable doubt, until I left him...

I've been clean (so-to-speak) now for four years and every day my body still aches for him, his music, his smile, and his soul to be close to mine - I know though, that it will never happen.

There's somebody else meant for this little girl...

A piece of Me...

I thought I'd never sit down and just blog away the way you're supposed to...

Until I was so inspired by my favorite blogging chica, HeroineGirl. (her writing talent is far superior to mine though)

See, if you check out all my archives you'll see that there's only a handful of pieces that I, myself, have written. Everything else has been extracted from other websites because they said something along the lines of what I felt like saying but didn't have the time to say.

Hmmm... Let's see. Now, where to begin. Because of the effects of the total lunar eclipse I've been all consumed with love lately.

So, love. Tonight's topic will be love. (Surprise, surprise)

I first fell in love at the age of fourteen. And yes, it was true love. The truest I had ever known up until that point anyway. He was a crazy boy, exactly six months and ten days older than me. (I'm an Aries, he's a Libra. I have always seemed to fall the hardest for Librans... Some say it makes sense.) So this boy was the first boy to ever make me feel alive when I kissed him, the first one that I really experimented with sexually. Yes, I was sexually active at fourteen. I would've done anything for that boy and I almost did. He had a strong hold of my heart with two powerfully gripping hands and I didn't want him to let go.

Even when I found out he cheated on me each time with a different girl, I stayed with him - He told me, she was a bitch, she came on to him, he'd never talk to her again, he could never love a girl like her, I was the only girl he loved. All I wanted was to believe that he was forever mine, so I believed. Him and I stayed together barely over a year... (which is a long time when you're fourteen/fifteen.) As it turned out there really wasn't anyone he loved more than me, but there was something. Drugs. All drugs. I didn't really know this though. I mean, I knew he had tried a few things but I didn't know. He hid his dispair really well for the first few months from me and his best friend. I still remember the day he told me that it was true what everyone was saying, that he really was a junkie... By that time though I had plenty of suspicions.

It was late at night but my mom wasn't home. I had just put my little sister to sleep. He called and told me to meet him at the liquor store across the street. As I did, each step I took, I got sadder and sadder while my heart pounded harder and harder. This time it wasn't good, I felt it in the pit of my stomach. The reality I tried so hard to deny.

I hadn't heard from him for about seven days this time - the longest he had ever gone without calling me or tapping on my window so that we could spend another night together, wrapped in emotion and sweat. But there he was, in the shadows of the trees, with his now wire-thin framed body barely keeping him together, begging me to lend my comforting ears and arms one last time.

He started crying as if he knew how much my heart was breaking from the disappointment, as if he knew how bad I didn't want him admitting this to me, but also because he knew he was doing the right thing by telling me. The only thing was, he never understood that I woulda stuck by him through it all, he just didn't consider himself worthy of my love or anyone else's love for that matter but especially mine, for he knew I loved him in the realist way.

Thanks to him I began to acquire what would eventually become my most poignant knowledge - The nature of an addict...

He couldn't understand that sometimes people really do love you more than you love yourself and that they really are willing to make sacrifices in order to help you learn how to love yourself again...

To this day, I still think of him. Every now and then he even finds me in my dreams. I know that there was a special connection between us that will never die and one day, hopefully, we'll find out why.

I promise to blog more about this and the other catalystic, passion-inducing moments that have made me the soul searching girl that I am today.

Until then, may perfect harmony find it's way to you!

Love Sickness

A sickness unto death. Psychological cramping. A permeating, soul-rotting infection. Marrow-draining, will-weakening, cancerous growth.

Awaken the Void! Get acquainted with the presence of absence. Experience the fear of loss! The illusion of having had! The march of time! Prepare for the ride of a lifetime!

Infect thyself willingly with that which poisons all else with lack. Shake hands and smile at otherness while it crawls up your sleeve, under your skin, into a vein, flooding the system with its own special brand of consciousness-altering nutrients, vitamins, minerals, and nausea.

Listen to the sound of the whole world saying your name with a sigh:

You are the one! Your are what it has all been leading to! This is the moment! History hath evolved, hath crawled, trudged, fought, fucked and eaten toward this very instant! And all for you! All for this! You are here, whole, and in Love!

In the grip of a feeling, the face turns sour. A grimace. The eyes squint. Too much light. Heat emanates from behind the eyes. A scratching, a stone, a scraping pain on the cornea. Piercing headaches. Rashes. Dry skin. Itching. Restlessness. Sleeplessness.

When sleep does come – nightmares! Hot nights, sticking sheets, sweat and too much presence. Worry. What if, what is, and why? Doubts. Dreams of infidelity, of death, of heartbreak. A hundred forms of fear and pain.

How can one accept such a gift?

Thou hast seen thine own innards and thy blackest deeds. Thy knowest the coward that ye truly be. Thy knowest how unworthy of any love other than that of the all-merciful Lord thou art. Thy poverty is complete.

A heightened sense of smell, sight, hearing, time passing, distances. Every gesture takes on new meanings. Complex symbologies. Signalings. Irritability. The constant presence of imminent weeping. A crumbling threshold of restraint. Weakness. Thoughtlessness. Blank mind. No thing, only feeling. A stupidity reigns. An idiocy. A retardation. De-evolution. Evaporation of personality, spontaneity, risk-taking, ideas, words, impulses, self.

How does it feel to be other than -- another -- him -- her -- that which is at the end of ones own finger? Why oh why oh why can there be no assurances? No guarantees? Why are the most fleeting things so precious and so pleasurable? How on earth to endure the humiliations of a fall from grace, as love, in the presence of love? Is there any pain greater than love itself with a broken heart? Love in fear of itself? Love held outside of Love?

A dull pain in the gut. A sinking feeling. Doom. Failure. Morbidity. Melancholy atheism. Faithlessness. The inevitable tragedy. The future of tears and a living death, full of emptiness.

This is the moment you’ve been waiting for!

You are in love again!

The Window

By Flavia Kajoba

The longing, The wanting, The waiting, How much I hate the waiting.

Feelings, Emotions, Held in for too long. The ever pressing fear that everything is a lie.

Man, Who I long for. My feelings that convey, My ever searching love.

Feelings hidden, The longing is killing me, The waiting destroying me from within.

Pain, Unbearable pain. Wanting, Unbearable wanting. Lies, All lies.

I'll never feel his touch, Caress his beautiful lips, See into his soul.

This is the picture that I paint, This is the story that I write, This is the window, The window to my soul.

You know me, I'm impulsive.

Honestly, I don't think I'd ever wanna erase any memory of mine, especially the ones filled with the utmost heartache. Heartache is awful but don't we learn a lot from it?? Yes we do. I know that I've experienced true love only when I've experienced true heartache.

Now the hardest questions come to mind: Can we ever have one without the other or are true love and true heartache inevitably and forever tied together? To live a heartache free life must we stay trapped within our comfort zones right above our safety nets???

I must say, I love the work of Charlie Kaufman and Michael Gondry!

There isn't anything that I've seen by either of them that wasn't either mind bending, thought provoking, extremely touching, or all of the above...

Also... Montauk IS a very special for me too...

"I'm not a concept. Too many guys think I'm a concept or I complete them or I'm going to make them alive, but I'm just a fucked up girl who is looking for my own peace of mind. Don't assign me yours." - Clementine

Find more memorable quotes from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind HERE.

The Chemistry of Attraction

Rodin, The Kiss, 1881

It's why your knees go weak, your palms sweat, your stomach does flip-flops and you begin to stammer when you're around a certain person that you think of as more than "just friends".

When sparks fly between two people, we're quick to say they have "chemistry." Not everyone realizes that such couples literally have do have chemistry--it's what's behind those sweaty palms, the jumpy stomach, thumping heart, and nervous jitters. Chemistry also contributes to that warm, comfortable feeling you get from being with a longtime partner.

In the mid-1960's, psychologist Dorothy Tennov surveyed 400 people about what it's like to be in love.

Many of her respondents talked about fear, shaking, flushing, weakness, and stammering. Indeed, when human beings are attracted to one another, it sets off quite a chain reaction in the body and brain. But there's a perfectly logical explanation to those intense feelings.

The most well-known love-related chemical is phenylethylamine -- or "PEA" -- a naturally occurring trace ammine in the brain. PEA is a natural amphetamine, like the drug, and can cause similar stimulation. This natural upper contributes to that kick-up-your-heels, on-top-of-the-world feeling that attraction can bring, and gives you the energy to stay up all night talking to a new love. Sometimes this energy translates into the triple-espresso jitters; other times it simply keeps you wide-eyed and alert long past the time when you'd usually be yawning.

There's no escaping our egos...

Ego is your sense of individuality. It is the powerful illusion that exists in us all and creates the appearance of separation from the whole.

Ego's greatest fear is death of itself. Mankind experiences this fear by its own fear of physical death. A person who is self realized knows that there is no death.

All that you accumulate is a reflection of your ego. Your car, house, clothing, and even your mate and children are a statement to this. You might wonder at why a child would be a reflection of your ego, but I can't count the times I've heard both men and women say, "I need to have a child to carry on my name." Or more often, to carry on their identity in some form. Adoption is rarely as palatable as a person's own child because it is not theirs, and if they do adopt, they often want it to be like them in terms of ethnicity. Of course, then there are those that have managed their egos and don't care about that and just want to give a good life to a child.

Because ego's greatest fear is its own death, it keeps a fanatical vigilance over its survival. Try and remove your ego, and you will have started a war.

What does ego do for us? Well, one of the things it does is rob us of a life of peace, bliss and wholeness. If we do not understand ego and let it run our lives, then we have bought into separation, division, and duality. In essence, we do not live in wholeness because we want what is "good" but not what is "bad." We don't want ALL of life; we want PART of life! This will guarantee your misery!

Energy simply exists and there is no good and there is no bad, just ego labeling your experiences. As long as we are fighting evil's battle over "good and evil" then we will still be fighting. An example is this when you feel hurt because someone insulted you. This is ego. Feel great with praise? This is ego. A managed ego state (or egoless state) is free from emotional attachment and reaction from the judgment of others. When ego is attacked or hurt, it does what ego does: fights and hurts back for ego is not love, it is separation.

To hate is to separate. If you are to truly see through the illusion of ego, then to hate your neighbor is hating yourself. Rejecting your fellow man is rejecting yourself. Love thy neighbor, and you love yourself.

Another ego fact made evident is the process of limiting. Words are limiting; emotions are limiting for you are blocked and biased. This is why a meditation method is to focus on nothingness because nothingness is really everything-ness. Words limit. As soon as we form a thought, we have limited ourselves. This does not mean don't think or feel, just know that when you do, you are only seeing, feeling, and experiencing part of the whole.

When you run from the whole and chase the parts, you start to create blocks. If I chase good and block bad I start to create a fear that bad will occur. The judgment of bad is again ego's labeling. I'll give you an example of this blocking. As a child grows up, their ego starts to develop. The powerful presence in their life is their parents. If a parent does something (or even the lack of doing something such as giving love) this causes the young person's ego to react, causing pain. This does not feel good so they start to suppress the inward flow of this emotion, or in some instances, they overreact for the rest of their lives resulting in the millions of obsessive compulsive, neurotic, anxious, phobic and suicidal people on this planet! They block their chakras, grow ill and eventually perish.

Accept the illusion of ego by knowing that we all have it as something to deal with and that we chose to take on ego because in one way, it serves a valuable purpose. We chose separation to experience the process of becoming whole again. In other words, if God is All That Is, why did He create the illusion of what He is not? He did it to experience Himself through "separation and reunification." But to create something that is not part of All That Is, is impossible, so all that we are left with is a series of illusions. So our ego is the illusion of separation so that we can experience the joy of becoming whole again.

The misery is when we don't see this illusion and let the illusion dictate our existence.

Once you acknowledge, understand, and accept ego, you can start to manage it, and eventually be free of it.

This is a lifelong endeavor. It starts with acknowledgement, lives through understanding and acceptance and finds resolution in love.

Prison Pete

I stumbled upon this guys blog and thought it was quite interesting...

Click on picture to see enlarged view

Shangrila-la

"It's difficult in times like these: ideals,

dreams and cherished hopes rise within us,

only to be crushed by grim reality. It's a wonder

I haven't abandoned all my ideals, they seem so

absurd and impractical. Yet I cling to them

because I still believe, in spite of everything,

that people are truly good at heart."
-- Anne Frank

Peace.

Aries

Horoscope for week of
August 5, 2004

"Charles Baudelaire counseled readers to be drunk continually 'on wine, on poetry, or on virtue, as you wish,' "wrote Kate Taylor in The New Yorker. "But he also thought drugs were a perversion of our taste for the infinite and that great minds could furnish their own intoxicants."

I'm hoping you're one of those "great minds" the French poet was talking about, Aries. According to my reading of the astrological omens, you need a large helping of the magic that lies outside of ordinary consciousness. But you're far more likely to thrive if you can find a natural way to satisfy your "taste for the infinite."

hororscope by Rob Brezsny

No Strings Attaaa....

Sioux Falls, South Dakota hardcore, Facedown Records

Album Art By Derek Hess

Derek Hess is one of my favorite artists - Mostly for the fact that all his work contains a good amount of emotion. I also really admire figure drawing drawing skills.

Dreaming the Secret Wishes of the Soul

Don Paulson, Enchanted Moonrise, Canun, Mexico

by Robert Moss

One of the greatest gifts of dreaming is that it puts us in touch with our soul.

It takes us beyond the limited understanding of the everyday self and shows us who we are, what our soul’s purpose is in this life experience and what our heart truly yearns for. There is a word for this vital function of dreams in the language of the Huron, a dreaming people of North America. The word is ondinnonk, and it means a "secret wish of the soul", especially as revealed in dreams. This expression takes us to the heart of healing.

By connecting with our dreams, and celebrating and acting on the information they gift to us, we bring the energy and magic of soul into our daily lives. As we allow our big dreams to take root in this world, we become whole and well, and start living our deeper story. As we help others to honor and celebrate their soul guidance, as revealed in dreams, we become healers and dreambringers.

Ancient dream healers understood that we are often out of touch, in our surface minds, with our deepest truths and our heart’s desires. Not knowing who we are, forgetting our soul’s purpose, we do terrible harm to ourselves and others. Dreams invite us to get back on the right track, the soul’s track.

Dreaming not only renews our understanding of the soul’s purpose; it can literally bring the soul back home. From the shaman’s perspective, soul loss is the root cause of much illness and affliction in our lives. We suffer deep grief, heartbreak or abuse or trauma – and maybe then succumb to negative habits and addictions – and a part of our vital soul energy goes away. Chronic depression, lethargy, memory gaps, low resistance to illness and emotional numbness are among the most frequent symptoms of soul loss.

Our dreams can tell us which parts of ourselves may be missing, and when it is timely to bring them home. Recurring dreams in which we go back to a scene from our earlier lives may indicate that a part of us has remained there. Dreams in which we perceive a younger self as a separate individual may be nudging us to recognize and recover a part of ourselves we lost at that age. Sometimes we do not know who that beautiful child is – until we take a closer look.

Unfortunately, a common effect of soul loss is dream loss. Indeed the absence of dream recall is often a primary symptom of soul loss – as if the part of the sufferer that knows how to dream and travel in deeper reality has gone away, out of pain or disgust. It is fascinating and deeply rewarding to observe what can happen when people who have forgotten how to dream start dreaming again. This can amount to spontaneous soul recovery.

In the most literal sense, dreaming can make us whole. It not only connects us with lost or buried aspects of ourselves. It connects us with our larger identity – our Higher Self – and our larger purpose.

^

Feeling Horny

Wasn't born to the Percussion Family,
Or to the Strings.
I was born to the Brass,
Meant to blow that thing!

-Micha  
   

Time is a travler...

There may be no other concept that captures the imagination more than the idea of time travel -- the ability to travel to any point in the past or future. What could be cooler? You could jump into your time machine to go back and see major events in history and talk to the people who were there! Who would you travel back to see? Julius Caesar? Leonardo da Vinci? Elvis? You could go back and meet yourself at an earlier age, go forward and see how you look in the future... It's these possibilities that have made time travel the subject of so many science fiction books and movies.

It turns out that, in some sense, we are all time travelers. As you sit at your desk, doing nothing more than clicking your mouse, time is traveling around you. The future is constantly being transformed into the past with the present only lasting for a fleeting moment. Everything that you are doing right now is quickly moving into the past, which means we continue to move through time.

^

Journey Deep Into the Heart of the Sunflower

Donna Ciaciarella, Yellow Flower 1998. oil on canvas, 36 X 36 in. 

Who is Déjà Vu?

 
The term déjà vu is French and means, literally, "already seen." Those who have experienced the feeling describe it as an overwhelming sense of familiarity with something that shouldn't be familiar at all. Say, for example, you are traveling to England for the first time. You are touring a cathedral, and suddenly it seems as if you have been in that very spot before. Or maybe you are having dinner with a group of friends, discussing some current political topic, and you have the feeling that you've already experienced this very thing -- same friends, same dinner, same topic. 

The phenomenon is rather complex, and there are many different theories as to why déjà vu happens. Swiss scholar Arthur Funkhouser suggests that there are several "déjà experiences" and asserts that in order to better study the phenomenon, the nuances between the experiences need to be noted. In the examples mentioned above, Funkhouser would describe the first incidence as déjà visité ("already visited") and the second as déjà vecu ("already experienced or lived through").

As much as 70 percent of the population reports having experienced some form of déjà vu. A higher number of incidents occurs in people 15 to 25 years old than in any other age group.

Déjà vu has been firmly associated with temporal-lobe epilepsy. Reportedly, déjà vu can occur just prior to a temporal-lobe epileptic attack. People suffering an epileptic seizure of this kind can experience déjà vu during the actual seizure activity or in the moments between convulsions.

Since déjà vu occurs in individuals with and without a medical condition, there is much speculation as to how and why this phenomenon happens. Several psychoanalysts attribute déjà vu to simple fantasy or wish fulfillment, while some psychiatrists ascribe it to a mismatching in the brain that causes the brain to mistake the present for the past. Many parapsychologists believe it is related to a past-life experience. Obviously, there is more investigation to be done.

Related terms:
 
Paramnesia - a disorder of memory: a) condition in which the proper meaning of words cannot be remembered; b) the illusion of remembering scenes and events when experienced for the first time -- called also déjà vu
 
Jamais vu - a disorder of memory characterized by the illusion that the familiar is being encountered for the first time Source: Merriam Webster Medical Dictionary 

^

 

You Are a Great Mystery

 
 

Krishnamurti on LOVE

"The moment you have in your heart this extraordinary thing called love and feel the depth, the delight, the ecstasy of it, you will discover that for you the world is transformed."

"...when there is love you have nothing more to do. Then where you are, you have heaven; then all seeking comes to an end."

"When you get rid of attachment, there will be love."

"Love cannot come to those who have a desire to hold on to it, or who like to become identified with it."

"One has seen the torture of love, the dependence on it, the fear of it, the loneliness of not being loved, and the everlasting seeking of it in all kinds of relationships, never finding it to one's complete satisfaction. So one asks, is love satisfaction and, at the same time, a torture hedged about by jealousy, envy, hatred, anger, dependence?"

"When there is love in your heart, in your eyes, in your blood, in your face, you are a different human being."

"You cannot practice love. If you do, then it is a self-conscious activity of the 'me' which hopes through loving to gain a result."

"...love alone can transform the present madness and insanity in the world - not systems, not theories, either of the left or of the right."

"The problem, if you love it, is as beautiful as the sunset. If you are antagonistic to the problem, you will never understand."

"You know, if you love something, you never get tired of it -- I mean love in which there is no seeking of a result, no wanting something out of it. When you love something, it is not self-fulfillment, therefore there is no disappointment, there is no end."

Painful Blessings

by Rob Brezsny

This is a perfect moment.
It's a perfect moment for many reasons,
but especially because you and I
are waking up
from our sleepwalking thumbsucking dumbclucking collusion
with the masters of illusion and destruction.

Thanks to them, from whom the painful blessings flow,
We are waking up.

Thanks to them, from whom the awful teachings ooze,
We are waking up.

Their wars and tortures,
their devils and borders,
extinctions of species
and brand new diseases,
their spying and lying
in the name of the father,
sterilizing seeds and
trademarking water,
stealing our dreams and
changing our names,
their brilliant commercials,
their endless rehearsals
for the end of the world.

Thanks to them, from whom the painful blessings flow,
We are waking up.

Thanks to them, from whom the awful teachings ooze,
We are waking up

Their painful blessings
are cracking open holes
in the sour and puckered
mass hallucination
mistakenly called reality.

News of the soul's true home
is pouring in,
infiltrating our increasingly lucid
waking dreams.

Wild ripe juicy eternity
is flooding in.

Our allies
from the other side of the veil
are swarming in.

We're waking up.

And as Heaven and Earth come together,
as the dreamtime and daytime merge,
as paradise and the underworld overlap,
we register the shockingly exhilarating fact
that we are in charge
-- you and I are in charge --
of making a brand new world.

Not in some distant time or faraway place,
but right here and right now.

As we stand on this brink,
as we dance on this verge,
we can't let the ruling fools of the dying world
sustain their curses.

We have to rise up and fight their insane logic;
defy and resist and prevent their tragic magic;
unleash our sacred rage and let them feel it.

But overthrowing the living dead is not enough.
Protesting the well-dressed monsters is not enough.
We can't afford to be consumed with anger --
can't be obsessed and possessed with complaint.
Our sweet animal bodies
need to feel rowdy blessings.
Our amazing imaginations
need to thrive on missions
that incite our delight.

We need truths in their wild state,
insurrectionary beauty
that excites our curiosity,
outrageous goodness
that drives us to perform
heroic acts of lusty compassion,
ingenious love
that endlessly transforms us,
tricky freedom
that is never permanent
but must be reinvented and reclaimed every day,
and a totally-serious-yet-always-laughing justice
that schemes and dreams
about how to diminish the suffering
and increase the joy
of every sentient being.

So I'm radically curious, my fellow creators;
I'm seriously delirious:
Since we are in charge
of making a brand New World,
where do we begin?

What truths in their wild state
are we planning to plant
at the heart of our creation?
What stories will be our reminders?
What questions will be our fuel?

Here's one for you:
In the New World
you will know through and through
that life is crazily in love with you --
life is wildly and innocently in love with you.

In the New World,
you will know beyond a doubt
that thousands of secret helpers are
angling to turn you into
the gorgeous curiosity you were born to be.

But then here's the loaded question.
The love that life eternally floods you with
has not exactly been unrequited,
but there's room for you to be more demonstrative.
If life is wildly and innocently in love with you,
are you prepared to start loving life back
the way it loves you?

In the New World, you will.

In the New World,
you will reject paranoia with all of your smart heart.
Instead, you will embrace Pronoia,
Which is the opposite of paranoia.
Pronoia is the sneaking suspicion
that the whole living world
is conspiring to shower you with rowdy blessings.
Pronoia is the dawning perception
that life is a conspiracy
to liberate you from ignorance,
and fill you with love,
and make you brilliantly soulful.

My fellow creators,
I want you to know
that I am allergic to dogma.
I don't trust any idea
that requires me to believe in it absolutely.
There are very few things
about which I am totally certain.

But I am absolutely certain
that Pronoia describes the way the world actually is.
Pronoia is wetter than water,
truer than the facts,
and stronger than death.
It smells like cedar smoke in spring rain,
and if you close your eyes right now,
you can feel it shimmering
in your soft warm animal body
like the aurora borealis.

The sweet stuff that quenches all of your longing
is not far away in some other time and place.
It's right here and right now.

Earth is crammed with heaven.

Psyche and Eros

Abduction of Psyche by Adolphe-William Bouguereau 
 
The Greek goddess Psyche was initially a beautiful young mortal who became a goddess when Zeus ordained her marriage to Eros, the Greek god of love and son of Aphrodite.

The myths of the Greek goddess Psyche exemplify a woman's search for authentic personal growth, a reminder that the integration of our experiences, however sad or frightening they may be, matures and transforms us, like the symbol of the butterfly emerging into the light from its dark cocoon.

^

Me in the mirror...

This photo was taken September 2003

You may wonder why, as you read all the things on this page, I chose the topics and images that I have. Well it's very simple. They all represent a particular side of me and the ideas that this facet of my personality holds.

See, all my life I've had insanely chronic deja vu, extremely intense and vivid dreams, and premonitions so strong I'd get sick to my stomach...

All that causes me to wonder, what have my past lives been like? Have I somehow traveled from the future to the past at some point? Are dreams far more powerful than science could ever explain? Is it possible for there to be parallel existences and I'm living variations of the same life at once?

As I find written articles or explanations, theories or opinions on these ever present questions in my life, I will post them, usually along with an image that I've chosen.

Also while I'm doing my best to find answers that make the most sense to me, I'm expressing feelings I have on love and life in general.

I am now and forever will be a hopeless romantic. Therefore, while I love to talk about supernatural possibilities, I also love to talk about LOVE!

There is a link for just about everything I post including photos - If you ever want to see where I've retrieved my info and/or photos from, just click either the post title, the photo or a link that looks like one of these: ^ . If you ever have any questions about somthing and there is not link to be found, just ask and I will answer.

I also ask that you please feel free to post any of your own comments about any of these topics. I'd love to hear about similar experiences and feelings or even opposing feelings towards anything posted here.

Thanks for checking out my blog and ENJOY!!!

Chelsea Out Laws

This is the top half of a collage I made about two years ago....

How many times will the
Crow fly by and
Leave me Standing there
Broken hearted and empty handed
With confused eyes full of tears?

Too many late nights
I've Seen my life flash by
With a haunting and a chill.

To just have what I need I'll
Reach deep inside of me and
All this Sensless time I must kill.


-Micha

Uniting Twin Flames

The Love of Souls by Jean Delville 

Twin Flames are ourselves in another body. When Souls chose to enter into physicality, they were split into masculine and feminine aspects. Please note, I did not say male and female, because throughout our incarnations, we will be in both genders of bodies. When we first leave the Light to enter into physicality, we will connect with our Twin Flame. This is done so we will not feel so totally alone in the human experience. After this we go our separate ways and grow lifetime after lifetime in experience and wisdom until we are ready to break free of the bonds of physicality and mortality. When we have reached this stage we have the opportunity to reconnect with our “other half” or Twin Flame.
 
The chances are that we meet our Twin Flame briefly in many lifetimes, but one or both of us are not ready for the intensity of this connection. When both halves of the whole are ready to come back together and meet they will discover that in that lifetime they have lead almost parallel lives. The events of their lives will mirror each other almost exactly. They may have come from very similar families and family dynamics. They may have had similar schooling or lack thereof. They may have almost identical careers. They may even have previous marriages and divorces within weeks of each other. When Twin Flames get to know each other, they will feel as if the other is reading their life script.

Once in relationship, the bond between Twin Flames can only be compared to the bond between identical twins. They are aware of each others thoughts, feelings, desires and needs at a level that is hard to imagine. The depth of Love is such that to be apart even for a day is a hardship. What is meant by that is that their hearts literally hurt when they are separated from each other. Even if only for the work day. It is this depth of Love that reminds them of the Oneness of Light to which they are returning. By anchoring this Love in the physical, not only are they preparing for their own ascension, but they are also leaving an imprint for others to follow in time for their own.

^

Miss Micha

I'm on the verge of doing somthing pretty silly here...

Why Sideways Falling?

~

I decided to name this blog after a line from one of my favorite Chili Peppers songs called
"Don't Forget Me".

To me, there are many meanings in not only the words Sideways Falling but also the song from which I took it them.